Black Titanium

MiMi Beltzak
Number 49
19031989
Floorball

Audi Q7black
Audi TT RS
Adidas Jerseys
Adidas Watch
Antarctica

Dysfunctional Family
Pemarah Lover(Syg)
Hellmate(Ella Kai)
Lil Orange(khalilah)
Classic(Amalina)
Francine(Franny)
Rabiatul(Classic Minah)
Yatassha(Butterfly)
Team Nyp Floorball

April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
June 2009
July 2009
August 2009
September 2009
October 2009
November 2009

Credits

Designer & Editor: Corissa 96
Cursors: ChocoGoodies
Hover : Happyy-Stop

Dementor's Life.

Saturday, April 25, 2009.

hey spideyy....

These few weeks has been uptight, amazing, exhausting, confusing,a nnoying blablablabla......
and now, school has started, NO MORE HOLIDAY!! club crawl just ended. All went as planned..Now i need to focus on studyingg. i skipped almost all the lectures last weekk.. 1st week attendance SUCKS..
2 words WELL DONE...

Night Class
I listened to you cry almost everynight, and for months seeing the tears flow down. Tears of fear. Tears of weakness and sensitive heart.. That was your lowest moment.. as for me.. simply.. i was crushed.. There is still scar, but u were someplace special in my heart, that no one can ever invade. So no matter how deep or big the scar is.. there still love for you. What ever happen within last few years or months we had.. its was a test.. A test for you to realise how much advantage u have taken in Life, A test for me to realise what world we are living in, and how behaviour can kill the that somebody deep inside.
~
What life means to both individual?
~
To me, it means u are my princess, a sensitive and most sincere princess. i wont let you go, i wont let us go.. thats for sure. The Phobia that got into you, it keep playing in your head and subconciously.. isolate yourself and eventually.. your self esteem is zero..theres once u made a decision, you thought thats the best for us, but that was like a bomb, drop without any warning. Ending it, will ease the stress u had and the crying every night, but then ending it, will just tear my heart off, and bleed forever. I hold on you tight inside.
I cant do much then just call you up and be there everynight listening to you.. how tired i was that day, im still opening my heart and mind listening to you. Its like night class.. the topic is
" The life that we are never ready for"
To be honest, Ur tears makes this fat ass. woke up everyday, telling herself that there something need to be done. Something that i have to analyse thru and be patience abt..challenging myself... i sucked it in as much as i could everysingle night.. we talked openly.. i pledge myself that i wouldnt talk to anyone. eventhough my tears wasnt visible like yours, i was sobbing inside.. Ya you can say my ego were skyhigh. it is! i shut all those ears and hearts who wanna listen and help.. but this is valuble to me.. sorry...
This is my pride... And im egoistic over it
`
Last night, the tears was ultimate.. it doesnt mean tears of fear,nor sensitive.. but those tears were accompanied with a smile in the eyes.. the tears that make me confirm that u are starting to gain urself.. Your self worth.You start a new life and beliefs. The heartwarming words that you uttered, just making things more beautiful. For a second, my ears were shut, but my eyes were just staring at the happiness bubble that coming out off your mouth and soul.
The months of emotional suffering, is starting to end,
~
A lesson learnt in a brutal way, that make me who i am right now. a person who afraid to widen the circle. A person who action hero sometimes, a person who learnt that she has to be strong and be self less. A person who will go to the core, coz she doesnt like gossips, a person who will shut on people, if respect and love is not being shared to the others. A person who leant thru commands, and wat the eyes are talking
Coz i don want to endure the emotional suffering in the future, and nevertheless i don want people around me to experinence the same way as you. its just ugly and painful.
And no one deserve to be in that state
`
`
2 valuble things that i learnt from this night class
Sincerity.
you have this, u kill the devil inside you. u kill ur own ego,
Acceptance
You have this, you are the most honest man on earth, who knows that life is never prefect.
`
`
Now some of u will know why, im OWL and love sleeping late.
the silence and the darkness makes u think, make u see.. what u cant during the day.
Is between the angel and devil in your head
Is just you and your soul
( and some ppl at msn, who also doesnt want to sleep)
`
`
Theres once a hush man, said this pharse
Before somebody shut on you with their silence
-Dahari kamal-
beltzak says:
People (Truly) around you are your inner strength.. don believe??
try not meeting, talking, hearing from them for months.
then get back to me..
they are (truly) my strength
Beltzak

1:58 AM.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009.

hey spideyy

If you judge people,
You have no time to love them

~
~
~

1.Eh asal kau pakai long pants?
Selalu pakai seluar pendek? Ade ape?
2. Eh Asal black pants? tak pernah pakai black pants!
What a question early in the morning?!
~
~
~
Beltzak say:
I shall not waer pants tomorrow! hahaha!!
please ahh i wont do that!
~
~
Beltzak

12:28 AM.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009.

Smile

I will smile seeing you, eventhough im worried
I will smile seeing you, eventhough im doubtful
I will smile seeing you, eventhough im in pain
I will smie seeing u, eventhough im falling a sleep
~
U smile, eventhough u are tensed
U smile, eventhough u are troubled
U smile, eventhough u are down

Thats worth it!

beltzak say:
Black in my colour..

beltzak

12:18 AM.

Saturday, April 18, 2009.

hey spideyyy
Pictures upp!!

SENTOSA

She my TEDDY BEAR!!

Playing Captain's ball

Strategies!!
All are pairing up? ( okey u tackle Soyah, okey i blocked Anuar!!)
hahaha!
Andrea's back was like ROASTED HUMAN!!!
~
~
My brother' rugby match!
St Andrews Div B Police Rugby Finals
~
Junyuan vs Pioneer
Last 5 minutes. junyuan was leading 71-0
~
Ready guyss?!!!

Line Up!
Look up!
Run Up!!
~
At the end of the game..
Handshake!!

~
Junyuan WON CHAMPION!!!
Touch the trophy!!
(berkat!)
~
~
Visit Feeza at her house
~
~
Blur is Feeza, has leg injury , ACL
Kesiann..
Grey is my teddy bear!!
was a blast meeting feeza,
me and soyah was the chef of the house..
WE fry chicken, hotdog, fry noodel and make bandung!!
then
Bon apetit
~
~~
~
i took one step closer,
a step which is big,
a step i gain everything
or a step i lose nothing
~
What ever it is, i took it.
its clear
its honest
its a done deal
~
Tonnes more things will come up
Tonnes more things will be check up
i took that step
Now its gone and spack
and i lose nothing
Beltzak says
thank you.. to youu.
~
Beltzak

2:02 AM.

Friday, April 17, 2009.

hey hey hey spidey.

Problem
exists when an individual becomes aware of a significant difference between what actually is and what is desired.
~
Desire
is a sense of longing for a person or object or hoping for an outcome. The same sense is expressed by emotions such as "craving" or "hankering".
When a person desires something or someone, their sense of longing is excited by the enjoyment or the thought of the item or person, and they want to take actions to obtain their goal
~
Problem solving
forms part of thinking.
Considered the most complex of all intellectual functions, problem solving has been defined as higher-order cognitive process that requires the modulation and control of more routine or fundamental skills.
It occurs if an organism or an artifical intellectual system does not know how to proceed from a given state to a desired goal state
Problem solving is of crucial importance in engineering when products or processes fail, so corrective action can be taken to prevent further failures
~
Distraction
is the diversion of attention of an individual or group from the chosen object of attention onto the source of distraction.
Distraction is caused by one of the following: lack of ability to pay attention; lack of interest in the object of attention; greater interest in something other than the object of attention; or the great intensity, novelty or attractiveness of something other than the object of attention.
Distractions come from both external sources (physical stimuli through the five senses), or internal sources (thoughts, emotions, Fanstasy , physical urges)
One word: Patience

Beltzak says:
Back to the same.. i guess

Beltzak

2:03 AM.

Thursday, April 16, 2009.

Hey spideyy

Monday
Long John Silver+ Tampines 1 ( Times)+ Mrt Game + National Library= A.W.E.S.O.M.E
Was fun gg out with Sloth and Khairun.. We read almost all the magazine at TIMES.
I read abt AJ and CARS!! Mrt Game was damn boring at 1st.. but then it turns out to be fun. fun fun.
" Find a box, it looks like a box , but its not a box" :" What the hell it is?""
" Find Uni? : University???"
" Find Bird, " inside or outside": " No coming in!"
" Find horse!" :" Ya at someone's Butt" " Pervert!!"
" Find RedLine"
Cool shit this game. ANd alot of ppl in the MRT , in thier hearts, i know they wanna slapp pur face.. cos we keep staring and looking top ->-> bottom at the ppl around uss.. ahhahaa
National Library. We read magazine and books, -> sports injuries, FOOD! DESSERT! and cats! and muscles!
Tiramisu new name Tsunami!
One Word : AWESOME
Tuesday
Went to sch, for gym and run with Sloth, Gym was cool, has been long i last train at gymm..
Run was Cool!! shall do more.. :) and i will ask sloth to run with me.. Must train for amazing race!
ME and Sloth planning to go for amazing race Asia... hahaha .. cool We planned out our job readyy.
MiMi
do all the eating challenger (weird foods)
Long runs
Drive manual car
Don ever hold valuables
Elly
Bungee jumping
Do maps and directions
translation
Drive auto. when no police there.
one word: Interesting!
Wednesday
Went sentosa, with parvin, soyah, azlin andrea and anothe fren( i donno hoe to spell, her name, sorry), brinz, Khai, Anuar, Taufiq and his gf. We had lunch at vivo then we proceed to SENTOSA!! we played dog and bone!! rough one ahh. i was damn shockked.. i wouldnt call it DOG AND BONE! i will call it ROYAL RUMBLE!! We threw each other to the ground. tossing ppl!! pushing!! grabbing!! locking!! dragging!! LITERALLY like WRESTLING!!Especially when Parvin call all the numbers. we dont care who we step on, as long we win the bone.. My grp WON!! hahah!! ( Khai, taufiq gf, brinz ,andrea & me) GOOD TEAMWORK GUYS!!
We played some card game ( RAGAM) and " i never or i ever" game!! so Cool.. but scarry ah. then Captains ball! then me and Soyah jump into the water.. while the rest fill their hungry stomach.. Interesting conversation with Soyah We spent almost like 1 hour plus talking in the waterr.. SHE my TEDDY BEAR. Thanks Soyah! Open up your Circle girl!
Rushed back For training, 2nd last training before league starts. OMG!! this is my 1st league.. scarry like HELL!! good training though.. good to see the team working hard. but i was damn tiredd.. but i did my BEST!! most important thing!! ahahaha.

Two Words : WEll DONE ;)
~
~
the more i listen, the more i doubt myself and -.
the more im thinking abt it.
the more i tell myself to be distracted.
But do i want to be distracted?
paranoid?
Over analyse?
Bias?
Dreaming?
One sided?
Too close?
Its complicated!
But what i know is.. im waiting..
Genuinely
One Word : DUMBASS!
Beltzak Says
You find U.. come back to me... ( seriously)
Thanks Soyah, and Dearest SLoth
Beltzak

12:41 AM.

Saturday, April 11, 2009.

hey Spideyy

These few days have been hectic.. mentally and physically exhausted!! ( MENTALLY)
i shall not explain.. too tired ahh..
yesterday i had movie marathon!
i watched
Marley and Me (So cute!)
Confession Of a Shopaholic ( abit nonsense!)
Brides war (typical!)
12 rounds ( awesome!)
~
~
Tomorrow exciting day!!
Meet Fb girls in the morning and training.. Im meeting Bro again!! We just met last Wed at Nyp while watching soccer.. Shared alot of things.. but not quite enough i think! hahhaha!! Btw thanks alot Bro, really appreaciate it.Fran has alot to update me... Excited about tomorrow!
Afternoon i have to rush to NUS for game aganist pinkies.. wooohooo.. So whole day will be floorball!!
And i have left chachat leg and chachat palms.. hahaha!!! ( do i look as if i care?!... maybe just a little)
~
~

AJ alert!!

HOT???

W.I.L BS
its not the way i put on my lips
its all lies
it reflected the opposite way in my heart
its all lies
Too weak and confuse to handle the truth?
thats when i put things in between the line.
Do i want this?
Beltzak says
Mind- Self Realisation- Self Modification
Thanks to My dearest Sloth!
Beltzak

2:44 AM.

Saturday, April 04, 2009.

hey spideyzz
Welcome back!!!
Wonderful thingshappened lately.... 3rd week of vacation

30032009
Went out with Parvin, Soyah, Azlin and Anuar. Lunch at TONG SENG!! spell it again TONG SENG!!
Interesting outing, i shall say!! Share alot of interesting stuff and their gossipss.. omg!! tak boleh angkat...
played poker like nobody business, laugh like no tomorrow!! That day interesting questions was asked, made my heart stop for a sec. and it kept me thinking abt it. but what the hack... i don believe it. hahahhha...

31032009
happy face received in the morning.. its a P.A.S.S.E.D
Went to sch, to clear the locker... i found out alot of stuff which is not mine in MY locker,, weird??!! it was RAVYNA's!! hahaha.. Watched Soccer Game too, due to temporary organ malfunction of my bestest fren SLOTH, we reached school damn earlyy.. SLOTH read the time wrongly.. hahaha!!! but it was alright..
i jogged around the campus, whicle the game was on, Nice to jog ... shall do it again. soooooonnn. Sloth u shld try it!!

01042009 (aprilfoolday)
CC briefing in the afternoon with Sloth and Rai, and then Friendly with LMFC..Sloth came along to watchh.. Awesome to see PRO players in the court, Interesting to see and play with them in the court. To be honest i can knock out in the court that night.. was damn tiring and painful.. hahaha.. between a month i had, a Black eye for almost 3 days ( got shot at the eye) Severe Muslce Pull at the hip, UpperBody bruises & Swollen index Finger... sound painful right... but i can say its worth it.. No Injuries?its either u are playing really safe or you are not playing at all.. ahhaha.. teh Tarik after game.. was awesome....
NO PAIN NO GAIN dude
SHIT BDAY!!!

All in all.. my vacation wasnt that boring.. did cool stuff...
More outing please.. more sports please..
I cnt wait for BBQ!!
For the record.. both Sloth and Me cannot spend more than 24 hours together!! We will be very violent and harsh towards each other!! hahaahaha

PICtures uploaded!!!

Legend Water Chalet

Nice....

Light travel in a straight line

Nice reflection!!

Which direction?
ours in ARCTIC!!
Why is he so AMAZE??
water beneath us?
From our room! COOL!!

What the hell im i Pulling???!
Wanna see??
Cont below!!
CAN u believe it?
imagine there is airplane or Jet doing practices above!
FREE SHOW???
Action can drive ahh??!!
Beach Time DUDE!!
the actual pic was to show thousands of baby crab
Spastic face!!

She holding a live crab!!! hahaha!!
thats my crab...cool ahh?
Challenge time!!!!!
guess who win??
of coz ME ahh
See how HAPPY HALAL is!!!!
breaksfast!!
i don care about lunch or dinner.. BREAKFAST IS THE BEST!!!
halal is eating MilK and coco crunch!! cool right!!!
My fav pic!!
Sun set!
im gone for now.. update more pic alright!!
its already 320am

W.I.L BS
Its powerful
Its protected
Its that someone :)
End Word
Ur Smile Ur Smell
Challenge!! counting the days
Beltzak

1:42 AM.